My whole life my christian friends/family have told me that they have a “relationship” with “god” or “jesus” and that “god” wants a “relationship” with me, and that I’m missing out on, or choosing not to have, a “relationship” with “god.” Now, again, my whole life, I’ve never for the life of me understood what the hell this even means. Is putting your hands together and speaking incantations, attempting to send psychic signals to a seemingly legendary being (prayer) having this “relationship” with this “god”??? (I did that many times – no response).
I mean, what the hell do you even mean? Are you telling me there is some supernatural being that visits you, and you hang out together, go shopping, have conversations??? What the heck kind of “relationship” is this that you are having anyways??? I mean, usually we know what we mean by “relationship” – what do you mean???? How can I have some personal “relationship” with what appears to be the non-existent???? Like telling me to have a relationship with 0, or with santa clause. Or that the smell of blue wants me to call him on Tuesday. WTF???? Is this all just some kind of inside joke?
Are you just specially granted an audience with the omnipotent dictator that I have been denied, despite my sincere requests and desire to have this “relationship” with this being, if in fact “he” exists?
Or is this just all some type of metaphor, like everything in your religion is a metaphor when you don’t prefer the otherwise distasteful, literal interpretation? Or are you people who are having this “relationship” just afflicted with an un-diagnosed multiple personality disorder and you are in fact having a “relationship” with yourself, and I was just chasing crazy??? Or maybe you just don’t understand what the term “relationship” means? Or maybe you are just a damn liar, huh, couldn’t that be it? It’s just amazingly baffling to me! All these people having a “relationship” with jesus and god, how do these deities even keep up with all their appointments and dates and whatnot, with each of these millions of people who each day are having this “personal relationship” with them!!!!????
People just SWEAR that this “personal relationship” they are having with these deities is real. So, should you really trust your daughter having a “personal relationship” with Yahweh, unsupervised? Look at what he did to Mary some 2k years ago. You really want this dude raping and knocking up your preteen daughter when you turn your back, the way he did to her? I see some big flashing warning signs with some of these “relationships” omni-stud is having on the sly, based on past behavior.
This guy is hilarious and makes great points you may have heard in less-funny ways. Follow him on YouTube and check out all his videos. Great rep for our cause: